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  LEARNING FROM FAILURE

  Many of us are stopped by our unmet expectations. It has become too painful to have our dreams not work out the way we had hoped, or not at all. Frequently the decision is to abandon the dream, and for some, to stop having them completely. For others, the futility of being marked a “daydreamer” can be enough to abandon any future plans. The words “why bother?” become our dysfunctional safety net. We seem to think it protects us from the perceived threat of failing. In truth, to never take that first leap is the biggest failure many of us make. Just know you are not alone in feeling scared as you move toward your dream. It can indeed be a big leap of faith as you plummet into unknown territory. This is true for anyone, including myself. But the potential benefits far outweigh the initial costs of our fear holding us back. It holds a much greater outcome, and that is to soar.

  Can you imagine being disappointed by the failure of your dreams, yet using that experience as the inspiration to invest in an even greater commitment toward your dream? Do you know it is possible to use failure as a teacher; as a way to practice and learn, while continuing to have your expectations and your dreams? This is an investment worth taking.

  The musician Miles Davis said, “Do not fear mistakes. There are none.” Failure or disappointment is a chance for you to check in and make important decisions. Do you desire your dream and in spite of apparent setbacks, still fully expect it to happen? Check in and see if this is perhaps a childhood dream or someone else’s dream for you. Will it honor you more to release it? Is the failure of this dream somehow protecting something or is the potential failure of this dream the lesson itself? Is this a dream that your ego is craving, or one your soul and spirit desires? Do you know the difference?

  Finding the answers to these questions is worth exploring, though searching for them may not be easy. Such is the journey of a true dreamer: seek, ask, listen and seek some more until you are satisfied with the outcome. Don’t settle for less than what you know you are worth. And you, as Whitman wrote “…contain multitudes.”
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  So, learn to know each unique facet of your whole self. Discover what makes you tick and why. Realize there comes a time for demand and a time to surrender. To live a full life requires you learn to do both willingly and wholeheartedly. To not submit when you need to is a sign that pride and ego are holding you (and your dreams) hostage.

  And along the way you get to ask yourself the most important question of all. Are you still committed to having your dream come true, to fulfilling your heart’s desire, or is it time for another dream? Is this about accomplishing THE dream or can life be about living, learning and growing through your dreams and failures?

  It takes courage to keep going and maturity to know when not to. This is your life that you are designing. Whether you keep going on this dream or create new ones, are you willing to practice using your life’s experiences as the path to open your heart, to feel more deeply and passionately what you want and to really live?

  Be honest with yourself throughout the entire process. Notice what you are thinking and feeling. See what actions you are taking or not taking. Keep checking in with the reality of what’s happening and use your expectations to continually re-fuel your desires and move you forward.

  Learn the power of expectations. By breaking through the fear of disappointment or unmet expectations, you will be living your life at a whole new level and based on new standards. Life’s daily experiences, even the painful ones, become magnificent opportunities to fully express yourself. Use your expectations to whet your appetite, to get your mouth watering and your taste buds salivating. Expect your life to be a dream come true and be prepared for a feast, regardless of what the menu offers.

  Sometimes the experience begins by stopping where you are and emptying out. So stop for a moment, take a long slow breath and ask yourself, “Am I ready to become a dreamer, am I ready to live a more loving, joyful and fulfilling life?”
• About the Author
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  Marcia Wieder, CEO/ Founder of Dream University® is leading a Dream Movement. Whether teaching at the Stanford Business School, speaking to executives in China, or at Girl Scout Camp, her riveting style impacts audiences world-wide. She’s been coaching, training and speaking for 20 years and her inspiring message has touched audiences from 50-5000 at companies like AT&T and American Express.  The author of 14 books and a thought leader on vision, she has appeared on Oprah and the Today show, is the personal Dream Coach to Jack Canfield, stars in Beyond the Secret with Bob Proctor and is a member of the Transformational Leadership Council with John Gray, Lynne Twist and Marianne Williamson. As past president of the National Association of Women Business Owners she worked with former U.S. presidents, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter and George Bush Sr. and as a columnist for The San Francisco Chronicle, she urged readers to take “The Great Dream Challenge.” Learn more about her at DreamUniversity.com or MarciaWieder.com.

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