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The public person is the person that people see every day. This is the person in the grocery store, in traffic, in any public setting. Depending on the public setting that you are in, you will either give your best or your worst. Let me explain. If you come together with a group of people focused on the same goals and objectives, chances are you will move towards your goals and objectives and you will get along with the people in that room because you have a common focus. With that common focus you are all honing in towards the same solution and determining how you can get there in your thoughts, words and actions. Conversely, if you are in a group of people where you strongly oppose each other, for example, a room that is politically divided right down the middle, then in that public setting you might demonstrate some things in your communication that you wouldn’t have otherwise demonstrated if you were by yourself or if you were in a group that was moving towards a common goal. In his book, The Road Less Traveled, psychologist Scott Pick calls this the “group evil”. It’s the pack mentality. When a pack of animals get together they will do things to harm their prey. In a group setting, especially in a public setting, if you vehemently oppose the opposite side, you might say things or do things that you wouldn’t otherwise do in a public setting if you were being rational and reasonable. In summary, there are two types of people on the public side – the person who is moving towards a common goal or the person who has the opposing viewpoint.


In the private person you have two components, the quality side of your private person and the quantity side. The quality person within you is the person that gives your best. You want to hang out with other quality people who give their best. Quality people are the people you want to spend time with, either in your home, personal life or even in your professional life. Quality people are people who think in a like-minded manner along the same lines that you think. They are like you in their thoughts and actions; you just like spending time with these people.

Quantity people are the people you spend time with because you have to. These can be the people you work with or people who are in your personal life. There are some people that you work with and you spend quantity time together with them. Regardless of what you think about these people, you are required to spend time with them because your job is dependent on them. Here is where this is crucial. What you think about that person and what you focus on within that person is going to directly impact the quality of time you spend with them. So if you can’t stand working with certain people, that’s going to impact you. This is important because at the end of the day when you go home to spend time with the quality people in your life, if you have focused on the negative aspects of the people you don’t like working with, what do you think you are going to be talking about when you get home at the end of the day? In fact, let’s take it a step further. What do you think you are going to be thinking about on your drive, commute or walk home about these people because what you focus on determines what you think? What you think forms the words in your mind before they ever come out of your mouth and if you are thinking, looking for and focusing on the worst in people, then when you get home at the end of the day that is what you are going to be talking about, and here is the irony. What do you think you are sounding like at the end of the day? Hmm. What’s the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. In order to do the same thing over and over we have got to be thinking about it. Do you sometimes feel like you are going crazy? Or are you thinking perhaps that the people at work are driving you crazy, or the people in your extended family, the person in traffic or whatever it might be that is outside of your control? Now the irony is you get a choice. You can let those people control you and your focus or you can take control of those thoughts and determine what you want to focus on? What you focus on determines what you think and this is all about taking those thoughts captive. As Zig Ziglar would say, we got to stop the stinkin’ thinkin’ otherwise those stinkin’ thinkin’ thoughts are going to take over and ruin the quality of our life not to mention the lives of those around us. Any time you think about people who drive you crazy you are going to feel like you are going crazy. So, as Linda Larsen would say, stop and interrupt this old pattern and determine to move forward on a new path beginning with your focus.

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