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  Self-Esteem and Your Teen

  Would you like your teen to listen to you? Would you like to trust that your teen is making good decisions? Would you like to know how to help your teen break old bad habits and establish healthy new ones—for life? Get unusual perspective from Dawn Jones, a former “troubled teen” herself who turned her life around to become a best-selling author by applying these techniques of self-esteem.

  Dawn Jones has had an exemplary career as a high powered professional. She is an international speaker, corporate trainer and business leader. After more than 19 years of corporate and entrepreneurial experience, she knows the secrets to success inside and out. As a professional speaker, Dawn is passionate about helping people reach their goals and live their dreams as well as helping them discover the essentials of communicating for results, building self-esteem and unlocking the past to success. Her recent corporate travels have taken her to Australia, New Zealand and across North America. Her recently published recordings include taking control of time and priorities in organizing your work and life as well as conflict management skills for women. In her free time Dawn travels with her husband to east Africa where they volunteer with non-profit groups to help build a hope and a future for the next generation. Now, join me as we welcome our featured speaker, Dawn Jones.

  When it comes to self-esteem and your teen, what do you think about? What comes to your mind? Do you think of your teen and think of someone who has great potential, is kind and thoughtful and has an amazing ability to do great things with their life? Or do you think of someone who seems to be in the doldrums, maybe defiant, or even lying, or lazy - even worthless at times? Perhaps you see someone who is smart, influential, with limitless possibility before them? Or do think of someone who won’t amount to much and must not have come from your side of the family?

  My name is Dawn Jones and during our time together we will go over three segments that directly impact self-esteem and your teen along with some steps you can take to raise your teen’s self-esteem. The first segment is what is self-esteem? The second segment, step-by-step technique for improving your teen’s selfesteem for life and then the third segment will be an action plan that you can take to help your teen break bad habits and make healthy lifelong decisions for themselves.

  WHAT IS SELF-ESTEEM?

  Let’s begin by defining what self-esteem is and what it isn’t, starting with what it isn’t. Now, self-esteem is not a feeling or an emotion; it’s not something that some people have while others don’t have it; in fact it’s not even confidence or ability; as there are many people who seem confident or have great ability, yet their view of themselves can be very low as confidence can be faked and ability can mask insecurity. Self-esteem is simply a neutral tool for measuring what a person thinks and feels about themselves, much like a weighing scale— in a similar fashion, the weighing scale of self-esteem is impartial and unbiased. What a person puts onto this scale will weigh and measure whether they have high self-esteem or low self-esteem.

  Two Components of Self Esteem

  Let’s take a look at the two components being measured on the weighing scale of self- esteem. Now the first component is “what do I think of myself”? The second component is “what do I think other people think of me?” The reason this is important is because your teen is going through some major life changes. During the teen years, questions of self-awareness swarm around teens amidst a whirl-wind of hormones, individualism and peer-pressure. Now, hormones are the obvious ones, both externally and internally, the body and mind are moving from childhood into adulthood, changing physically, mentally and emotionally. Then, individualism kicks in where your teen is searching out to understand the meaning of life, their purpose in this life and ultimately their place in this world. Follow that up with the constraints of peer-pressure which can collide with the boundaries of culture, community and even their upbringing. What you pour into your teen’s life and their self-esteem during these unpredictable times can greatly influence the type of adult your teen becomes.
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  What We Think of Ourselves

  Let’s explore the first component of self-esteem, what we think of ourselves. Let me ask you a question here, what do you believe your teen thinks of themselves? What words have you heard come out of your teen’s mouth when they are either very happy or frustrated? Are they saying things that are encouraging or discouraging; because what they believe about themselves comes from both their heart and their mind—their heart in the sense of emotions and feelings. Now, depending on the intensity of those feelings (either good or bad) those feelings get transferred to their mind and then they are formed into words which come out of their mouths—reinforcing the concept that as a person THINKS of themselves, that’s what they believe they ARE and will act accordingly which reveals if they have a high value of themselves or a low value which can equate to a high level of self-esteem or a low one. Now, on a side-note here, if someone has a high level of self-esteem, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they are over-confident or cocky, it means that they have a high level of respect for themselves, a high self-worth or a high value of their life and therefore they expect to give the best of themselves. The same goes for one with a low self-esteem, this doesn’t mean humble or sacrificial, it means a low self-worth, a low value of their life as a human being. Now this first component, what we think of ourselves, dictates whether your teen has a high or low self-esteem based on their opinion of themselves. What your teen puts onto their self-esteem scale through their thoughts, emotions and actions will reinforce this.

  What Other People Think About Us

  Now let’s explore the second component of self-esteem what other people think about us. Now here’s my next question for you…what do you hear other people say about your teen? You know, when you're hanging out with your family, your friends or even your teen’s teachers and their friends. What are people saying about your teen, are their words encouraging or discouraging? Now, with this one, I’d like to take it a step further, what do YOU say about your teen? What do you say about your teen especially at peak states such as when you are happy with them or frustrated? What words come out of your mouth and fall onto their self-esteem weighing scale? Remember, your words are powerful! With your words you have the ability to build up your teen or tear them down.

  Now let’s take a closer look at this point. I’d like you to think about something specific that recently happened where your teen had a great accomplishment. Perhaps it was athletically or academically, or even socially; you know, something where your teen received some sort of recognition for their ability. Maybe it was Most Valuable Team Player, or they got an “A” in one of their classes or they did something kind for someone. When you found out about it, what did you do or say to your teen? Did you stop what you were doing and give them your undivided attention and even go as far as to call in other family members or friends into the conversation? Did you listen to your teen as they described the challenges they faced and overcame during their accomplishment? Did you tell your teen how proud you were of them? If this is how you handled your teen’s last accomplishment, you are depositing a high value onto their self-esteem scale. On the other hand, if you can’t remember a recent conversation with your teen where you were praising their accomplishments; this would be a good time to start. You see, if you are not one of the biggest champions in your teen’s corner of life, they will look for someone or something else to fill that role.

  STEP-BY-STEP TECHNIQUES FOR IMPROVING YOUR TEEN’S SELF-ESTEEM FOR LIFE

  • RM/IU (Respect Most/Improve Upon) Technique

    So far we’ve covered what self-esteem is and isn’t, now let’s move to a step-by-step technique that will help you improve your teen’s self-esteem called the RM/IU technique. The RM/IU technique stands for Respect Most and Improve Upon. Over years of conducting corporate training seminars, I’ve implemented this technique and here’s how it works. First you think about things you respect most about your teen, hence the RM part of the equation, then you think about what areas they could improve upon, hence the IU technique. In just a moment I’ll walk you through the process of how to do this for maximum results. First though, if you’re in a position right now to write your answers down that would be great, as you’ll create a list to refer back to and build on; otherwise, you can listen along and picture your answers while I ask you some questions. If you need to “pause” this program to ponder or write, that’s fine…take the time you need. Now…I’m going to ask you some questions, then make some suggestions and then I’ll give you a moment to reflect on your answers.
• About the Author
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  Dawn Jones has had an exemplary career as a high-powered professional. She is an international speaker, corporate trainer and business leader. After more than 19 years of corporate and entrepreneurial experience, she knows the secrets to success inside out.

  As a professional speaker, Dawn is passionate about helping people reach their goals and live their dreams; as well as helping them discover the essentials of communicating for results, building self-esteem, and unlocking their paths to success.

  Her fast-paced delivery, sprinkled with impacting stories and anecdotes, makes her one of the most stimulating and sought-after speakers in her specialty areas. Dawn addresses eager audiences both LIVE and on audio. Her corporate travels have taken her to Australia, New Zealand, England, and across North America. Her recently published recordings include “Taking Control of Time and Priorities and Organizing Your Work and Life,” as well as “Conflict Management Skills for Women.”

  In her free time Dawn travels with her husband to East Africa where they volunteer with non-profit groups to help build a hope and a future for the next generation.

  More than a theorist, Dawn has put her insights and methods to the test over and over in real-life situations both professionally and personally. They are easy to implement. They work. And when combined, they create a concrete road map people can use to triumph over obstacles in their life and achieve their goals.

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