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  It Started Back There….

  Here’s a major concept about how you became who you are today.

  When you were young, your self-image was developed primarily from two things: 1) what others said to you about you, and 2) from what you overheard others say about you. Your ears have always worked. And from the time you were tiny your brain has been recording input, sounds, ideas, concepts, thoughts and things other people say around you—some good, and some not so good.

  Sometimes negative programming occurred, because someone would say something about you or directed towards you, maybe a criticism or a correction, and what they said just gets accepted into your subconscious memory bank. You have unlimited potential to add in good or to add in negative, it goes either way.

  When we’re very young, up until about age four, five or maybe even six years old, when people around us who we love or care about say something, we unquestioningly accept it as true. We just put it right into our heads. We oftentimes don’t think whether it’s good or bad, it just goes right into our brain.

  We have a tendency to then live by what other people say about us, good or bad. Those things that go in that are positive, great. Those things that are criticisms or put-downs or things that talk about what’s wrong with us also get accepted just as readily.

  For example, here are a couple of case studies. I’ve changed the names of the individuals to insure their anonymity.
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  James

  For instance, James was a big athletic guy but over and over when he was a child he heard that he wasn’t particularly bright. He overheard that his studies, analysis and memory were not very good.

  He heard he could do anything athletically. He could go out and achieve great things in baseball or basketball or football or soccer or tennis or any of these sports. But, when it came to thinking and to school many times in the background he’d hear his mom say, “Oh James is such a great athlete but he just isn’t very bright. He just really has a hard time and doesn’t think and retain well.”

  After college when he got a great job and was doing well at his career. When it came time for performance evaluations, or when promotion interviews came up, or if he was starting into a new creative process, he oftentimes would find himself so tense that it sometimes actually made him physically ill. He’d have stomachaches, headaches, back pain--it just tied him in knots.

  He couldn’t figure out exactly what it was, but he just knew any time it felt like he was being judged by somebody during an evaluation, an interview, whatever--it just tied him up in knots.

  Sarah

  Another example would be Sarah. Very bright, but just told she didn’t perform well under pressure. She was fine so long as she had lots of time and everything was calm. She’d do well, but pressure was just something she had a hard time with. She heard it over and over and over from adults in her life.

  When she would try out for a sport if there was pressure she would hear her parents say, “Oh, she would just fold.” Or if she was studying for a test they would say, “Well, if she has lots of time she’ll do well but if there isn’t enough time then she won’t perform well.”

  Guess what? Many cases when Sarah would have a test in school she would feel shaky. Over time it worsened. One day she got ready for school, she had something she had to do, it wasn’t even a big thing, but she had stomach cramps that were so bad she couldn’t go to school.

  Her parents were so concerned that there was something seriously wrong; they took her to a doctor. The doctor said, “I think you need to see a specialist.” So they took her to a gastroenterologist who examined her and said, “There’s nothing physically wrong with you.” They did tests. Nothing showed up.
• About the Author
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  For nearly thirty years Dr. Larry Iverson has educated, motivated and entertained audiences. From his work with Olympic and world-class athletes to the main platform of Fortune 500 conferences, Larry delivers persuasion and communication strategies you can apply right now. Larry blends vision with his background as a Clinical Psychologist in guiding you on an insightful journey, while you develop insights that assist your personal development. Larry masterfully uses enthusiasm and humor to help you gain control in your life.

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