Influence is a hot topic.  Dale Carnegie was probably not the first author of a book on influence, but his book How to Win Friends and Influence People may be the best known book on that topic.  Being able to influence others is sort of like creating a wave.  Imagine a surfer in a calm ocean. Without waves, the surfer stays put; influencing others creates a wave that one can then ride, and the more influential one is, the larger the wave.

In this month’s SkillBites Show, guest Ben Gioia talked about how to enhance one’s influence.  Ben is a 2X bestselling author and international speaker who has positioned million dollar thought leaders.  He is President of InfluenceWithAHeart.com and his teachings are used by more than 20,000 people worldwide.

Gaining influence, explained Ben, begins with one’s mindset.  Think about how you can benefit humanity or the larger community.  When you bring that mindset into everything you do, you will attract people who will be willing to do things you ask them to do.  That is what Ben calls influence with a heart.

Ben has built a 4-part framework around the influence with a heart mindset:

1. Be more empathetic.  Listen carefully to others and demonstrate that you understand their perspective and how they feel.  When you make that level of connection with people, and when you act from a heart-centered perspective of always trying to help others, then others will respond positively to you.
2. Engage in storytelling.  Ask people to share their stories with you and share yours with them.  That will also build a strong connection with people, and it will enable you to learn more about them.
3. Exercise thought leadership.  Explain what you do and why. Position yourself uniquely in the marketplace.  Show your vulnerability, which will make you more relatable to others.
4. Be more mindful.  Be present with everything you do, as much as possible – with your work, the people you serve and who serve you, and your family.  Pay attention to how you feel, and if you aren’t feeling the way you want to, try to understand what is behind the feeling, and what you can do about it.

We can’t be mindful all of the time.  When you recognize that you have not been mindful, one way to bring your attention back is to focus on your breath.  You’ll find yourself in a more calm state, which opens the door for wisdom to come in. The more you practice being mindful, the more it will become part of your life and the happier you will be.

To listen to the entire show with Ben, click here.

On the show, Ben mentioned that visitors to his website InfluenceWithAHeart.com can download a portion of his book, Influence With A Heart.  He also offered a complimentary 30 minute consultation for anyone seeking to go deeper.  Simply click on the Book Now button on the Connect tab on his website.